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07.03.2014

Features

Change, my dear. And it seems not a moment too soon. Our lives are important—at least to us—as we see, so we learn…Our destiny is in the stars , so let’s go and search for it. Jamie, remind me to give you a lesson in tying knots, sometime. You can always judge a man by the quality of his enemies. You’ve had this place redecorated, haven’t you? Hmm, don’t like it. Oh my word! Well, there’s a probability of anything. Statistically speaking, if you gave typewriters to a treeful of monkeys, they’d eventually produce the works of William Shakespeare.

The world’s about to end, and here I am, stuck in traffic. Come along, Pond! Kidneys! I have kidneys. And I don’t like the colour. All thirteen! Not allowed? Not allowed? Me, I’m allowed everywhere. Think about me when you’re living your life one day after another, all in a neat pattern. Think about the homeless traveller and his old police box, with his days like crazy paving. Are these antiques dotted about all over the building? It really is a splendid piece of audioarchitectonicalmetrasynchosity!

I am not a student of human nature. I am a professor of a far wider academy of which human nature is merely a part. Alright? Of course I’m alright, my child. You know, I am so constantly outwitting the opposition, I tend to forget the delights and satisfaction of the gentle art of fisticuffs. An old friend of mine. Well, enemy. The stuff of nightmares reduced to an exhibit. I’m getting old. All thirteen! You are the only mystery worth solving. Sweet, maybe… Passionate, I suppose… But don’t ever mistake that for nice.

It’s rather a pity, in a way…now the universe is down to 699 wonders. One day, just one day, maybe I’ll meet somebody who gets the whole ‘don’t wander off’ thing. I’d call you a genius, except I’m in the room. Our lives are important—at least to us—as we see, so we learn…Our destiny is in the stars , so let’s go and search for it. One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. Goodbye Susan. Goodbye my dear.